Corey Hayes

Coby Hanks is the “Enforcer” of the Dispatch Boys organization and will stop at nothing to accomplish his task no matter how gruesome. He is essentially the Japanese Bullet Train of men, once he starts on any given project or assignment he is unstoppable and unreachable. Use this as a message of warning dear reader, Colten Hayfeld is not to be utilized unless you are completely and without a doubt sure of the grizzly task you wish for him to fulfill.

Jack and Shan Dog

“He was a boy/ She was a girl
Can I make it any more obvious?
He was a punk/ She did ballet
What more can I say?
He wanted her/ She'd never tell
Secretly she wanted him as well
But all of her friends/ Stuck up their nose
They had a problem with his baggy clothes”

-Avril Lavigne “Sk8er Boi”

Justin “King Pin” Wilson

Justin Wilson is a bold and brash beauty with a bit of Southern charm. He is from all four corners of this country and remains somewhat of an enigma to those outside the know. He is as wild and as free as a galloping horse but with a few less hooves.

Flux Man

Don’t let this cute face fool you my compatriot, for his soul is even cuter. His outlook is unaffected by a lack of fir on his leg, injury, or even the circus music playing in his head on a loop. For his relentlessly positive attitude he is a highly respected member of the Dispatch Boys™ Community.

Medalise Mahoney

"Have you ever had a dream that, that, um, that you had, uh, that you had to, you could, you do, you wit, you wa, you could do so, you do you could, you want, you wanted him to do you so much you could do anything?"